‘You’re a wedding planner?’ (insert bemused pause here) ‘so what do you do, exactly?’ Well it’s a fair question. Any cursory search on the net will find a hundred sites that explain the myriad roles a wedding planner is called upon to have, the multiple hats we are called upon to wear. Still, there are those who think our job consists solely of champagne toasts and fluffing out the bride’s gown before her walk down the aisle. Visions of the fairy godmother in Cinderella spring to mind (though we could do with her magic wand sometimes that’s for sure).

But what’s the reality like?

Well we had a little huddle and a stroll through the archives and came up with this (tongue in cheek but genuine) list of what constitutes the real life of a wedding planner. We hope you get a laugh out of it and enjoy this glimpse into our world.

– Spot that the rings have magically disappeared from the ribbon collar of the cute doggie ring-bearer, five minutes before the bride’s entrance – silently, invisibly, swiftly and without any trace of panic, locate said rings with seconds to spare. The bride and the guests don’t suspect a thing.

– Calm the over-excited and hyped-up two-year-old flower girl and locate the rose petal basket she left on the floor in the end stall of the washroom.

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– Persuade the flower-girl’s mommy it is maybe not a good plan to give her daughter a chocolate granola bar to ‘keep her quiet’ before the ceremony. Because you know, the white tulle dress…

– Know how to tie the groom’s bowtie last minute when he confesses he has no clue how to do this himself. And ditto for his six groomsmen, all of whom have been merrily chugging Stellas since 10am.

– Pin the groom’s and groomsmen’s boutonnieres, natch.

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– Scramble and pull in all the favours you can when the groom forgets to get the wedding license and Municipal Hall is now closed for the day.

– Tactfully yet firmly deflect guests determined to get to their ceremony seat by way of the petal-strewn aisle runner, apparently oblivious of the rope and sign strung across to prevent them doing just that very thing.

– Tactfully police guests who stand with their iPhones during the processional in full line-of-sight of the professional photographer.

– Tactfully police guests who over-imbibed at the open bar and have no clue how to get home. Also locate said guests’ misplaced purses, jackets, cameras, and phones.

– Tactfully police guests determined to enter the gorgeously set-up reception space two hours before the reception in order to leave jackets and purses at their seat. BEFORE the photographer has been able to capture any images.

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– Make sure the bride remembers to eat.

– Pin up the bride’s bustle for dancing when the MOH is incapable due to excess of pre-ceremony champagne and apres ceremony cocktails. Aaaaw bless her, she’s having fun.

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– Remain cool and calm while ironing 150 wrinkled seat-covers for an outdoor ceremony in 90 degree heat.In one hour flat.

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– Spring into action on ‘candle patrol’ to light about a billion candles and always, always realize last-minute that someone missed those ones on the gift table, dammit.

– Assemble multiple rakes and tools to rake out an outdoor aisle in frozen solid snow in the depth of a Whistler winter.

– Quietly and discreetly replace name-cards back into their correct locations in line with the bride’s seating chart, after her new mother-in-law has swept through the tables and moved them all around to her preference.

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– Make a rather lovely bouquet last-minute for a casual elopement bride who changes her mind and decides she wants one after all.

– Hustle decor items from ceremony venue to reception venue several kilometres apart, in gridlock traffic with a half-hour window to spare. Without screaming.

– Teeter atop 25 foot ladders to string Chinese lanterns on the marquee ceiling with fishing line that keeps on unravelling while cursing only very very quietly.

– Prevent 100 very excited guests from streaming outside with cameras in hand to get up-close-and-personal with the momma bear and cubs who decided to crash the reception venue. Not a good idea people.

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Ok, well you get the picture. And this list could be ten times as long! We could write a book, and maybe one day we will. And yet…and yet…we just adore what we do. We live and breathe and dream weddings. We wouldn’t swap what we do for anything else. We get attached to ‘our’ couples and love it when they loved their day and when they keep in touch with us and tell us when the patter of little feet is on the way. We still weep at weddings (tactfully of course, and standing discreetly at the back) and guess what? We always will.